There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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