I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
