I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
