I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
