lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
