And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
