Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
