I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize