I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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