Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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