I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Boobs are out for the taking
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
