My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
