therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize