Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
hell yes lets make some ravioli
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
