it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
