??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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