He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
