i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
