just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We left an ass print on the piano.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
