the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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