you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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