We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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