So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
