Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
