Kiss
Puke
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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