Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
