Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
organizing the empties. That sober.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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