I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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