I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize