lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
