Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
