Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
