oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Drake has all the answers
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
