halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
