I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
