bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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