he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
