The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
