Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
