I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm determined to sit on that face.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My vagina just clenched in fear
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