we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
