I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
