Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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