What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
