so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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