I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
