he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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