I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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