i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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