Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
