i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
