those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
