Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
