Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
