Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
