Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
