what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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