I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so let's talk penis.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
