Pappa wants mamma naked
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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