i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
