when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
