ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
